THE QUIET MAN

Sometimes I wonder how on earth my children came out of the same womb! Despite being brought up in the same environment they are different in so many ways. It’s fascinating to watch them evolve into these little characters who will one day go out into the world, armed with their own persona as a result of everything they have experienced and the opinions they have formed as a result. But what is it that determines how or why they learn to act or react to different situations? The age old question of ‘Nature Vs Nurture’ certainly raises its head.

As a mother I’m hardwired to worry about every aspect of my children’s development and personality is something that determines so much in our lives that I find myself constantly questioning my parenting style and its affects. Am I doing enough to raise children who will have the tools to deal with life and it’s challenges in a way that is reasonable and healthy? Am I overly authoritative? Am I stifling their personalities?  Do they know they are loved unconditionally? Are they happy? The list seems endless and exhausting! From the moment we first pick up that Gina Ford book (who doesn’t want a contented little baby, right?) we question our actions as a parent.

Now I would consider both my children to be generally happy, healthy little souls, completely oblivious to all of my concerns on the above. They go to school quite happily, enjoy a good social group of friends and a loving home life (despite their constant bickering!). I can usually take them out in public without them acting like total morons, they generally do as they are asked and have a pretty good understanding of what is and isn’t socially acceptable. Pretty standard stuff for any 4 and 7 year olds. Personality wise, my 4yr old daughter is the funny, independent, creative, slightly bonkers, more confident of the two while my 7yr old son is a totally different animal. Outwardly he is a typically energetic, inquisitive, cheeky little chappy but he is also kind, and gentle, he has an understanding of how his actions affect others. He is loving, thoughtful, affectionate, perceptive, logical, introvert. He questions life, and religion, and death. He is my little thinking man.

In a world where extroverts are generally perceived as the superior, more celebrated camp I often worry that I should be doing something to encourage my son to develop a thicker skin, to be more confident, to be different. It saddens me so much to think that my little man, with his beautiful, perfect heart should change anything about himself in order to be on a level pegging with the next person. Is he a more likely target for bullies? Will he be able to present himself well in a college interview? Will he have the self confidence to put himself forward for a promotion? Of course we all want the best for our children but maybe it is time to celebrate all the positive qualities our children have without trying to change them. Maybe that in itself would instill a greater sense of self-worth as a child and ultimately throughout life. After all it seems such a shame to try to quash these precious traits that are often lacking in the world today. Let’s celebrate the introverts in our lives and appreciate how a quieter perspective on life might just be a positive thing in a very noisy world.

 

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7 Comments

  1. It was lovely to read your post. My son is only 10 months so I’m not sure what his personality will be like. However, my husband and I are both introverts. I’m just learning to accept that is how I am and it’s not a bad thing. We just need time alone to recharge, unlike extroverts who need company to get energy.
    I read something the other day which I thought was great – Introverts are Awesome – they just keep it to themselves! Xx #coolmumclub

  2. It’s fascinating how their personalities develop and are shaped. Like yours my two are very different. One is a complete extrovert and loves performing whilst my other one is very shy but then this could change in the future as I think I read somewhere that personalities are fluid and can change according to situations and as people change in life. I think there is a lot to be said for introverts and I think that there was a study done recently which revealed that introverts tend to outperform extroverts in the workplace. We should definitely be celebrating introverts 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. It’s fascinating to watch them develop isn’t it? I’d say there’s something in that study certainly where my two are concerned anyway. My son .e.g. has a natural interest in schoolwork whereas my daughter is far to busy being a unicorn to be concerned with any of that ‘boring stuff’ 🙂 #coolmumclub

  3. I’ve never stopped to think about this before. I think, we are a family of four extroverts on slightly different scales.That said, I often wish I had the ability to exercise a little brain over mouth control at times. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be x x Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

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