One project I have been really keen to work on is a series relating to body positivity, something you’ll know I feel strongly about if you read my previous posts Why Body-Shamers Can Kiss My (Squidgy) Butt! and All the Carbs Please…. Both received many open and honest responses from readers who have been affected by external pressure to look a certain way, often leading to a negative body image. For some this was ‘just’ feeling unhappy in their own skin but for others it led to a warped relationship with food and even eating disorders.

Loving our family and friends comes so naturally but it seems there’s a lot of work to do when it comes to loving ourselves. As women we are often under pressure to meet unrealistically high standards in many aspects of life, but none more so than our physical appearance (and often we are our own worst critics). We poke and prod our squidgy bits, lusting after a toned tummy or leaner legs, after all we’ve had SO much practice at picking fault it comes naturally.

Whether it’s pressure from the media, society or even closer to home, there’s no sign of this quest for perfection going anywhere soon. As a mother I find this pretty depressing. The thought of my daughter growing up with so many negative messages about women’s bodies and the worry of what impact that will have makes me sad for her.

Although the recent trend for healthy rather than skinny is encouraging, even this has been taken to extremes in some cases and ultimately resulted in a ‘healthy’ eating and exercise regime which is basically another form of restrictive dieting under a different guise.

A movement towards body positivity is definitely growing but it is still FAR outweighed by the negative messages we see targeting women (and it is mainly women) in the public eye. So what can we do? Well the obvious solution would be to say “Knickers!” to the whole nonsense and get on with living life, but it’s HARD. It takes courage and self confidence that has been knocked out of some of us from an early age, year on year. BUT we are not blameless. If we are to change anything we need to take responsibility and we need to do things differently. In the same way that eventually body bashing becomes second nature we need to become better at BEING NICE TO OURSELVES! I know, crazy concept.

There is a wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt quote which I have used before but it says it perfectly:


Next week I’ll post the first of my ‘She Loves Herself’ series, my own small step towards encouraging positivity and reinforcing the idea that we need to just stop the silliness, okay? I am so excited about my first guest and can’t wait to introduce you and share her answers – eek!

This series is all about ordinary people refusing to be made to feel inferior anymore and having the courage to say “Actually my body is pretty bloody brilliant and what I choose to do with it is my business!”. If this is a subject that you feel strongly about or have been affected by then I need your support people! If you’ve had enough of being told you need to change and would rather be part of something positive then why not take part in the series? Just leave a comment below or email me messandmerlot@outlook.com – I’d love to hear from you!




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  1. fantastic idea for a series and most definitely needed in this day and age. Body shaming should never happen but unfortunately our society is incredibly ignorant. the best of luck with your new series

  2. I love this!! I totally agree with everything you’ve said. What an amazing message and I too worry about the affect & pressures of the media and the expectations that may be placed on my son and nieces and nephews. I would love to know more about this series! #bigpinklink

    1. Thanks Ellen – really excited about it! The series will be a set of questions focussing on actually celebrating ourselves 🙂 Shall I send you the format and you can decide if you’d like to join in? x

  3. I love it already. I was pretty much dancing and doing you a one person Mexican wave when I read your other posts about body image and doing away with the fads and the regimes. I cannot wait to see what this series has in store for us! Dawn x #MarvMondays

  4. I have a post in drafts that is all about how I love my body more now then I ever did in my twenties. Although I don’t feel it every day!! I’d be happy to be a guest. 🙂 What a fabulous and uplifting series! Thanks for joining in with the #bigpinklink

    1. Yayyy! That’s great, thanks for your support I’d be delighted to have you guest post! Nervous/excited but have had a good response so far so am hoping people will enjoy it. If you DM me your email address or post it here I’ll ping the questions over to you. Looking forward to seeing your post too once it’s finished x

  5. I am one of the worst culprits with this…. I’ve put on a lot of weight and I am so annoyed at myself over it, then I eat because I feel rubbish. I may be a lost cause but I am looking forward to reading more of this lovely. Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix

    Stevie x

    1. Ha you’re definitely not a lost cause – I can relate to that! It’s so hard to change when you get used to thinking a certain way but I’ve definitely noticed that when I stop feeling guilty about it I actually enjoy treats and don’t feel the need to worry or beat myself up afterwards. Realising it’s ‘just food’ is a revelation I wish I’d had 20 years ago! So glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for hosting x

  6. Lovely idea for a series, I certainly have my days were I judge the way I look against the vast amount of media out there. It’s nice to know you are not alone and that the world isn’t actually the way the media portrays it, we are all beautiful in all shape and form #marvmondays

  7. What a fantastic idea for a series! This is exactly what we need, more body positive conversations and discussions. I look forward to seeing the first one. Thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

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